Living without Mum

Viviens story: remembering the past with a nod to the future.

Losing my mother to breast cancer when she was only 47 years old was devastating and distressing to me as I, myself was just 24 years old at that time. It left my family confused, lost and heartbroken.

Portrait of a Motherless Daughter
Standing at the Prince of Wales Sydney Hospital, suddenly the heart machine stopped, the chemotherapy ceased and the endless medical appointments and cancer treatment was just a faint distant memory. Now I realised I was a motherless daughter .

Operating without my Mother has been a painful journey because everyday you are reminded that her presence is simply missing as it permeates like a soft mist in every area of your life. Just like that, you feel terribly ALONE as you learn to be by yourself at a cafe watching other mothers conversing with
their daughters joyously, playing with their babies in the pram, chasing their toddlers at a playground centre, browsing clothes together and window shopping. But, NO sadly not the case for me because you see, I am a motherless daughter.

I remind myself again to look away because I have learnt to live without my best friend, my mentor, my confidant, my wind beneath my wings.

The one who says, "take that dress off, it's terrible on you honey" in an earnest way. The one that hugs you tight while your tears are rolling down your cheeks as you recount a horrible event in your work day. The one who will give you that secret forgotten ingredient in that family favourite winter's casserole recipe. The one that is simply your everything! But, again I remind myself that I am a motherless daughter now.

Remembering the past with a nod to the future and honouring a beautiful woman, a devoted wife and tireless loving mum to me and my brother, is something that I am passionate about.

Motherless daughters need to be united and stand firm against the patronising and indifferent comments. We need to teach the public that there is a real hurt, a real need for comfort and support and that it is a grief that has no end to its breadth or width. A bottomless pit, an ache that endures for ever and ever until we meet again in another dimension and in a heavenly realm.

We as motherless daughters, love one another, salute one another and remember our beautiful mothers.

- Vivian

OTHER STORIES

Living with Grief

Jevita's Story: writing a book to remember mum

I became a motherless daughter in June 2018 when my mum, Joanne died at the age of 60. I was 31 years old and was on maternity leave looking after my two young children. Her death was not unexpected, she had been unwell for many years.

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Living without Mum

Fiona's Story: grief is simply love with no place to go

I thought about Mum all the time during that first year with my baby, wishing she could be there to guide me on this new motherhood journey. It made my heart ache so much picturing her as a grandmother and knowing how much she would have loved my baby girl.

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Community Story

Maddie's story: A loss that lasts a life time

When Mum was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer (primary bowel cancer) my world turned upside down. Seeing mum so sick was one of the hardest parts. Not being able to help her made me feel helpless.

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Living without Mum

Steph's Story: I became a motherless daughter at age four

As I got older it started to hit me a little harder that she was gone. I always envied my friends when their mums would pick them up from school, take them shopping and simply have someone to call ‘MUM’.

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Finding Support

Claire's story: I am a motherless daughter

I do believe I can grow around my grief though, like Mum grew around her illness, and like I have grown, somehow, after her passing. Even though I didn’t think I wanted to, or that it was possible.

READ
Living without Mum

Steph's Story: I became a motherless daughter at age four

As I got older it started to hit me a little harder that she was gone. I always envied my friends when their mums would pick them up from school, take them shopping and simply have someone to call ‘MUM’.

READ

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SUPPORT DAUGHTERS WHEN THEY NEED IT MOST.

OUR MISSION

TO HELP WOMEN NAVIGATE LIFE’S JOURNEY WITHOUT MUM.

Motherless Daughters Australia acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the traditional owners and custodians of the land, sea and nations and pay our respects to elders, past and present.
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