Living without Mum

Viviens story: remembering the past with a nod to the future.

Losing my mother to breast cancer when she was only 47 years old was devastating and distressing to me as I, myself was just 24 years old at that time. It left my family confused, lost and heartbroken.

Portrait of a Motherless Daughter
Standing at the Prince of Wales Sydney Hospital, suddenly the heart machine stopped, the chemotherapy ceased and the endless medical appointments and cancer treatment was just a faint distant memory. Now I realised I was a motherless daughter .

Operating without my Mother has been a painful journey because everyday you are reminded that her presence is simply missing as it permeates like a soft mist in every area of your life. Just like that, you feel terribly ALONE as you learn to be by yourself at a cafe watching other mothers conversing with
their daughters joyously, playing with their babies in the pram, chasing their toddlers at a playground centre, browsing clothes together and window shopping. But, NO sadly not the case for me because you see, I am a motherless daughter.

I remind myself again to look away because I have learnt to live without my best friend, my mentor, my confidant, my wind beneath my wings.

The one who says, "take that dress off, it's terrible on you honey" in an earnest way. The one that hugs you tight while your tears are rolling down your cheeks as you recount a horrible event in your work day. The one who will give you that secret forgotten ingredient in that family favourite winter's casserole recipe. The one that is simply your everything! But, again I remind myself that I am a motherless daughter now.

Remembering the past with a nod to the future and honouring a beautiful woman, a devoted wife and tireless loving mum to me and my brother, is something that I am passionate about.

Motherless daughters need to be united and stand firm against the patronising and indifferent comments. We need to teach the public that there is a real hurt, a real need for comfort and support and that it is a grief that has no end to its breadth or width. A bottomless pit, an ache that endures for ever and ever until we meet again in another dimension and in a heavenly realm.

We as motherless daughters, love one another, salute one another and remember our beautiful mothers.

- Vivian

OTHER STORIES

Living with Grief

Ava's story: grief and milestones

My grief has changed over the years, at first I felt numb, then came the unbearable pain. That raw pain eases with time, but the ache in my heart remains. Sometimes, my grief can still knock the wind out of me and I allow myself to cry and remember her.

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Finding Support

Kate's story: grief is never ending

In December 2021 it will be two years since Mum passed away. I have spent these past two years getting to know myself on a whole new level. I have learned to sit with those uncomfortable feelings until they pass.

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Living without Mum

Fiona's Story: grief is simply love with no place to go

I thought about Mum all the time during that first year with my baby, wishing she could be there to guide me on this new motherhood journey. It made my heart ache so much picturing her as a grandmother and knowing how much she would have loved my baby girl.

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Living with Grief

Jevita's Story: writing a book to remember mum

I became a motherless daughter in June 2018 when my mum, Joanne died at the age of 60. I was 31 years old and was on maternity leave looking after my two young children. Her death was not unexpected, she had been unwell for many years.

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Community Story

Kelly's story: turning grief into gratitude

My mum Diana was 51 and I was 26 when I became a motherless daughter. At the time of her passing I didn’t think anything would help the feeling I had, it was worse than anything I had experienced.

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Living with Grief

Amy's Story: embrace your pain, but don’t keep it as baggage

My mum Judy was just 44 when she passed away on June 4, 2004. I was only 20 years old. Mum was a very warm, funny, dramatic, thoughtful and very quick witted clever woman who had a huge heart.

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OUR MISSION

TO HELP WOMEN NAVIGATE LIFE’S JOURNEY WITHOUT MUM.

Motherless Daughters Australia acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the traditional owners and custodians of the land, sea and nations and pay our respects to elders, past and present.
Made with love by The Lekker Agency